Divorce litigation often happens because many people who are going through a divorce erroneously believe that when they get their day in court the judge will right all the wrongs of their spouse and put them in them in their place. Sadly, nothing can be further from the truth. Judges simply do not have time to listen to every aspect of your case, plus, they only listen to findings of fact.
This means your spouse could have been the worst spouse in the entire world and if he or she has not done something that violates the law which has been proven and relates in some way to your divorce, you’re out of luck. The judge is not going to hear your emotional tale about your awful nightmare marriage to your nightmare spouse. Instead, the judge is only going to address issues that are in contention.
Most states have a basic settlement, which means most of your divorce already has a settlement path if you can’t agree. For instance, Child Support is figured by some sort of table or special calculator plugging in specific numbers or assuming specific numbers if you do not supply them. An order will be made based only on those numbers, not taking into consideration any other factors.
Contested visitation is also decided based on an already spelled out plan that has nothing whatsoever to do with your special situation. So, if you have a job where you do not have weekends off work, but are stuck with every other weekend and Wednesday nights, that’s that. No one is going to hear your argument about not being available on weekends. Instead, a set plan will be put into place, then the judge will only hear disputed issues that have been filed in advance by the attorneys and usually only one issue at a time. This will draw your case out longer and longer.
If you want to get a divorce and get on with your life, do not go to divorce court. Seek out an alternative method such as divorce mediation, collaborative divorce, or cooperative divorce so that you can settle your issues in private without less interference from the state who knows nothing of your special circumstances.