Divorce negotiations are delicate and require all the warmth and sincerity we can convey. Face-to-face conversations offer the best opportunity for both parties to truly hear each other.
Communication experts believe that our words convey only 10% of what we say, with the remaining 90% communicated through body language, eye contact, facial expressions, and voice inflections. These elements are our best persuasion tools, and it’s unwise not to use them whenever possible.
Why Face-to-Face Matters
- Body Language: Non-verbal cues like gestures and posture play a significant role in communication.
- Eye Contact: Helps build trust and understanding.
- Facial Expressions: Convey emotions that words alone cannot.
- Voice Inflections: Tone and pitch add context and clarity.
The Pitfalls of E-Mail, Texting, and Telephone
- E-Mail and Texting: Comparable to sending a telegram; they lack emotional context.
- Telephone: While it allows for vocal tone variations, it misses critical visual cues.
If Telephone is the Only Option
- Be as upbeat as possible.
- Schedule calls for times when both parties are typically less stressed and in a good mood.
- Avoid negotiating on bad days or at inconvenient times.
Potential Issues
- Misinterpretation: Without non-verbal cues, messages can easily be misunderstood.
- Bravery Behind Screens: People may become bolder and meaner when not face-to-face, leading to unnecessary conflict.
E-mails and texts may start civilly but can quickly escalate into hostile messages. The convenience of these methods is not worth the potential for miscommunication and increased conflict.
For effective and sincere divorce negotiations, face-to-face communication is the best approach. Whenever possible, avoid e-mail, texting, and telephone negotiations to ensure a smoother and more amicable process.