How to Convince Them That You Were Listening

Try to assume the most “listening” position you can. Uncross your hands and legs, sit up straight, face the speaker, and lean forward.
Always maintain eye contact while listening. To do otherwise is to communicate a lack of interest or disapproval.
Be careful of your facial expressions and body language when your spouse is speaking. They could register disapproval of what is being said.
Never, ever interrupt your partner when he/she is speaking.
Try to let your spouse speak more than you do.
When it is your spouse’s turn to speak, allow him/her to speak for at a minimum of 45 seconds straight. This establishes that you care about hearing their side.
When your spouse finishes speaking, do NOT answer immediately. Always wait at least three seconds before responding. This indicates that you were listening. A quick response indicates that you were not concentrating on their message.
Use caution not to anticipate what they will say next.

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Kari and Richard are staunch advocates of the non-court approach to divorce, and are also active and seasoned litigators with over 80 years of combined trial experience in the Illinois divorce courts of Cook and DuPage counties.